Ok, I am in no way an authority on beauty or fashion. I’m totally inept when it comes to certain things, but I do have an opinion about what looks good and what looks wack as hell! Certain trends can be dope, but people tend to take it to the extreme. Here are some that I think need to be revised and/or retired.

Made-Up Eyebrows

Ladies, I am all the way here for a great eyebrow arch, but some of us have taken this to a whole ‘notha level. I understand that some of us have to use a lil eyebrow pencil to fill in sparse areas, but when your damn eyebrow looks like a Crayola creation, you’re officially doing too much. The most recent trend that I’ve seen are these full eyebrows that are arched, but are so embellished they look like hockey sticks or boomerangs, some even resemble handle bars. Let’s do more of this:

and Less of this:

Excessive Makeup

We can agree that make-up is fun and enhances our beauty, but again, if your face looks like a Crayola creation or like you should be an act in the Universoul circus, then you need to cut down on the layers that you’re piling onto your face. There is some serious catfishing going on! Unless you’re an actor in theater, on TV, or in the movies, you shouldn’t look like a completely different person whenever you wear make-up. If I hug you and get your foundation on my shoulder, it’s too much.  If your neck and arms are two or three shades darker/lighter than your face, then it’s time for a consultation with a beauty expert. I understand that certain occasions call for a full face of make-up but seriously, some of y’all must get up early as hell in the morning for your daily metamorphosis. Let’s do more of this:

and less of this:

False Eyelashes

Since I’m discussing the facial area, what about these fantaboulous false eyelashes?? As with make-up, I agree that they enhance our looks ladies, but only when they make you look like a nymph, not a nymphomanic . It is hella distracting having a conversation with someone who looks like they have a spider or a tree branch attached to their eyelids. Sometimes, I wonder if they’re waving at me with their eyes. Oh, and don’t let her be one of those ladies who also wears heavy mascara, fix it Jesus–seriously! Let’s do more of this:

and less of this:

Sagging/Skinny Jeans

ATTENTION FELLAS: IT WILL NEVER BE OK FOR YOU TO ROCK SKINNY JEANS! This is one trend that I wanted dead and gone as soon as I saw it creepin’ on a come up. I admit that my big girl brain was reluctant to buy some skinny jeans for myself, but once I did, I was hooked! They hug your figure like a cozy comforter and up your sexy factor—if you have a nice shape, but that’s a different conversation. Anywho, as for men and skinny jeans—NO! Now, if you’re a gay male who likes to wear skinny jeans, then I’m not hatin’, but  heterosexual men should neva, eva, eva, EVA wear skinny jeans, period. On the flip side, let’s kill the sagging jeans trend, it’s immature and looks ridiculous as hell. I hate when I see a young guy walking like he needs to take a shit because his pants are so far below his waistline. Can y’all please find a happy medium of a good fit without looking like Peter Pan or snuffleupagus?

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  Please, we need less of this: and this:

and more of this:

Stiletto Nails

This is me whenever I see those pointy ass looking stiletto nails:

I don’t care what color they’re painted or what type of nail art that you put on them, I am so NOT here for stiletto nails. They immediately remind me of the Wicked Witch of the West and those evil flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz. They look sinister and unnatural, I feel like I’m gonna get my eye poked out or scratched to death. Please, ladies, everythang ain’t for everybody. We’re supposed to look soft and smooth, not hard and rough. Now, I’ve seen some with a rounder tip that are only slighty pointed, those I can get with a bit more.  Let’s do less of this:

and more of this:

Waist Training for Weight Loss

Aaaah, the quest to have a teeny tiny waist. It’s been a woman’s duty since forever to look her best even if she’s uncomfortable and causing damage to her internal organs. I remember several years ago when  Body Magic first became popular, I went into the restroom at work and my co-worker was doing the pee-pee dance as she tried to unhook her full body girdle. She damn near pissed on herself because she couldn’t get it off. After I  unhooked it for her, she told me that she was so glad that I came in when I did. I told myself then, ain’t no way in hell I’m gonna wear something that gets in the way of me relieving myself. They eventually came with the ones that have a hole down there, but it just doesn’t feel right peeing through a hole in my undergarment. What if it sprays? Then I’ll be paranoid about having pee on my clothes and smelling like I have a hygiene problem. Naw, bruh, not feeling it.

I’m all for wearing some Spanx  or a girdle to suck in and smooth out your bumps and lumps. But, frequently wearing a garment that squeezes you to the point where you can barely breathe and barely eat is doing way too much. If you lose weight wearing a waist trainer it’s likely because you can hardly eat when you’re wearing it. Don’t be fooled by these celebrity endorsements, only the proper diet and exercise leads to weight loss that stays lost.  These quick fixes are temporary solutions that may cause permanent problems. Real women have curves and aren’t ashamed to jiggle a little.  Please ladies, less of this:

Let’s get more into this: