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LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX!!

black couple making love nude

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SEX…S-E-X!! It’s one of my favorite words and definitely one of my favorite activities! My sexual journey has grown from tentative discovery to bold evolution. As a woman in my 30s I’m so glad to have reached a point where I know what I like and how I like it, yet I’m open to even more discovery–with my hubby of course!

My sexual “education” began at an early age; I was 10 years old watching movies like Black Venus and Lady Chatterly’s Lover. During that time, sex scenes in movies had more of a romantic rather than raunchy tone.  Though my mother did not openly discuss the dynamics of sex with me, she still allowed me to view these movies.  I’m sure that she didn’t realize the indelible mark that they would leave on my young mind; similar to the violent R rated movies that I was allowed to watch like Scarface and The Godfather.  As a Registered Nurse, my mother provided me and my sister with endless literature on STDs and pregnancy, but she never actually sat me down and talked about Sex.  The brief and restrained message that I got from her was, “don’t do it or you’ll get a disease or pregnant”.  So with the installation of cable TV in our home, I educated myself on the logistics of sex via my frequent late night viewing of Cinemax.  Again, I don’t think–no, I know-– that my mother didn’t realize how much my late night voyeurism would contribute to my sexuality.

As I got older, I had various sexual experiences some good, many bad.  I thank God for his grace and mercy because I became very sexualized and my first time having sexual intercourse was at the tender age of 13.  I had about three partners up until I turned 16, when I got with my “first love”.  Me and him were together until I turned 20. From the ages of 20-22, I was buck wild! I was a young, single, educated, employed, sexy hot girl!  For the most part, I practiced safe sex, but sometimes I didn’t, which resulted in some harsh reality checks.  Once I met my husband, my promiscuous behavior ceased and I directed my sexual energy toward him.  I was still a “Hot Girl” when we met, so I had no qualms with us having sex after knowing each other for only two weeks.  I figured, I might as well find out if he’s putting it down in the bedroom so I won’t waste any time being with a lame.  We’ve been married almost 12 years and we still have mad sexual chemistry,  so you can guess how that went.

I think my early exposure to sex helped me to shed my inhibitions.  My impulsive nature has always led me to seek out things that pleasure me.  As big as my mouth is, I’ve never had a problem talking about sex.  Oftentimes I make remarks of a sexual nature just to see other people’s reaction.  It amuses me when they show discomfort.  It’s funny to me how American society tries to make indulging in sex so taboo.  Some of us try to act so prim and proper about it when honestly most of us love to get down and dirty in the bedroom.  It’s a tiresome facade.

  I get it, I understand that sex is a private matter. But I see nothing wrong with openly expressing your sexual views and desires in a respectful manner.

Women especially, are made to feel a certain way when we explore our sexuality. We’re supposed to be chaste and coy, when really most of us love sex just as much and sometimes more so than our men.  I admire those in the public eye who have shamelessly talked about sex, especially when the purpose is to educate others about sexuality and sexual health.   Of course, there is an appropriate time and place for everything, but I’m so over people who try to front and deny their innate desire to F*&K!  “Making love” is beautiful; yet it takes a certain level of emotional, mental and sexual maturity. Sex is a necessary component of healthy intimate relationships.  Those of you who have extenuating circumstances that prevent you from having sex, like health issues, religious reasons or a decision to remain a virgin until marriage, are not the focus of this particular post.  I’m writing for those of us who desire and willingly participate in regular sexual activity.

Recently, one of my Facebook friends posted a question: “Is lack of sex a reason to end a relationship?” My short answer: Yes!  Unless there is a valid reason, then I don’t see a modern day relationship lasting without some form of sexual pleasure.  Those of us who are married or in long-term relationships understand that every day is not gonna be a hump day, but we recognize that sexual intimacy is part of the unbreakable bond that holds us together as the years pass.

Each relationship has its own unique sexual barometer, so to speak; however, SEX is an essential part of  intimate/romantic relationships

Sex ‘s primary purpose is procreation.  Yet, more times than not, we seek it for the satisfaction of our carnal cravings.  It helps to be aware of the varoius health benefits that are a result of frequent sexual activity.  All the more reason that we should get busy and get it in! Do like George Michael, grab your significant other and tell them: I WANT YOUR SEX!

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